Ever notice how when you are on a diet you instantly see the world in numbers? Matrix style? I've finally started a diet. A real diet, not just "I'm eating well," because I already eat excellently, but a real "diet because I have to be on a diet" diet.
And suddenly I see everything differently. It's like I'm Neo and the world is the Matrix. Everything is clear: that bagel -- 250 calories, that cookie -- 100. As I pass restaurants I see numbers instead of signs outside -- 1,530 calories, 2,300 calories. After making peanut butter sandwiches for the kids, (320 calories), I notice my finger has 20 on it and I totally want to lick that 20 so bad, but I refrain because if I give in to 20 I may then give in to that 50 that the baby just dropped onto the couch from his snack bag and then that would be 70 and the numbers would grow stronger.
Just admitting to being on a diet is empowering, however. For years now I've eaten almost ideally, with the exception of some cheat stuff like ice cream and chocolate and of course alcohol. But since I already eat well and exercise regularly I can't lose anymore weight just tweaking my diet or exercising more. I'm overweight and I need to really cut back. I need discipline. Things like flour and sugars have to go. Butter and ranch dressing, outta here.
And committing to it makes me feel in control. "Slice of cake, no thank you. Oh that quiche, thanks but I'm on a diet." I'm Neo and I'm deflecting everything bad, that is until a chocolate truffle kicks my ass.
I almost want to just give in and stay overweight. My husband loves me, what the heck right? But it's a personal challenge, my own test of my will power, discipline and strength.
Give me support people! How do you stay focused on your diet?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Cutting Calories Matrix Style
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6 comments:
Oh no! we are both going to be really cranky but skinny bitches! What will we do with ourselves once we have this new body? lol Good luck friend! I cut out all the carbs and in place got this bad attitude. See you on FB! Aricka
How well articulated! I get the number association with food! I am back on a strict low carb low sugar diet and everything is is reduced to "lemme see the label" before I will put it in the cart, on my plate or in my mouth.
I go to the extreme on diets and don't cheat, because as a habitual dieter since I was 7 (yes 7..) I know once you relax and just have that bite, then everything is a negotiation as to why you ought to have another bite... and another.
Stay strong Shelly! You look terrific but the new diet will make you feel even better!
Thanks guys. I'm the same way Jules, one bite and I'll justify everything else I want to eat. I've never had to diet until recent years. Like I said I usually eat well, (all veggies, almost no meat, very little dairy or bread) but because of that it's hard to cut much else out. So I'm going to have to get extreme and not cheat.
If you guys can do it so can I!
That is the hardest part - being really strict - i am just trying to cut back a little - the extreme plans usually fail for me
Spring weather puts my diet on autopilot...the fear of having my fat a$$ exposed in the summer makes keeps me motivated enough to low carb like a loca...living la vida lowcarb!
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